Words From the Artist:

“For my self-portrait I began with going back to the basics and using the mediums that I have come to love the most in my artistic life, gouache paints and colored pencils. I gave my painting caricature-esque characteristics, by accentuating my head and face and making my shoulders and neck less prominent. By doing this I was able to evaluate my facial features more deeply. By studying my features so heavily while creating this portrait I began to feel a little disconnected from the piece, as if I were not drawing myself, but rather just another person. From this point I had to stop and really evaluate how I pictured myself. This deep processing lead to an out of body experience. It lasted for only a second, but for that split second, I felt entirely separate from my body; it resonated with me as what I was seeing was not me. That is because it wasn’t. Defining myself and truly seeing myself goes past the body that I am in. I am driven, I am creative, I value my goals, I have the intent to change the world and the way others see it. 

From here I decided to depict the exact dysphoric feeling of not physically seeing yourself the way you feel about yourself. This is not to say that I do not love the body that I am in, but rather an understanding that I am not defined by the physical features I see. 

Taking my facial features, I moved and rearranged them. This is how I felt. I could not really understand what I was seeing in the moment, It just did not seem like me. In order to change the portrait to something that I could relate to myself I decided to change the background, representative of the world that I see myself in and the things I choose to surround myself with. For inspiration I referenced self-portraits by Frida Kahlo, as I particularly find that the way she portrays herself in her art is clearly defined and a different look than the way others portray her. I placed behind me tropical leaves and flowers, representative of my Caribbean background and my childhood of living in the Bahamas. In the distance I represent my aspirations. Architecture is becoming a big part of my life and very prominent within my future goals of becoming an architect. I depict myself looking in the direction of these buildings to show the direction I am headed in. One element of myself that I believe is important in the way that I see myself, is the goals that I have. With these goals I will ensure that I do not lose sight of my direction and will work to continually gain the motivation that I need to achieve them.”